How to make parenting fun again

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Some days I feel like I’m just on a hamster wheel of routine, unsorted laundry, and waiting to hear the sweet snore of my 4-year old through the monitor. I thought I was supposed to enjoy parenting. How can I make parenting fun again?

I don’t mean developing a dark sense of humour where I watch them get hurt and don’t help. I’m not sick. I mean, how can I enjoy being with them more and find doing things with them that we ALL want to do?

So what’s stopping me from enjoying being with my kids?

This one’s easy. The never-ending Task List in my head that I think I’ve got to do as a mum. All that mind chatter, suddenly remembering an email I forgot to reply to at work. Thinking about a past conversation, or a future worry.

It also usually means I’m not prioritising my own needs to balance with my children’s and so resentment pushes its way in.

Related post: How to self-care for mothers & why it’s important

Share the chores = share the play-time

Often I find myself expecting my children to play perfectly together while I get dinner made, or do the household chores. My kids still want me to play with them quite frequently, or come and watch their cool new trick. And really, I should be grateful that they haven’t passed that age yet. 

Instead, I’m looking for the moment they are self-occupied enough so I can sneak away to do a few dishes and shorten my mental To-Do list. Do you know what I mean?

Why do the kids get to have all the fun while I do all the chores?

This might sound like summoning disaster, but I’m thinking about getting my children involved in the chores more. I’ve tried before to get them to fold and put away laundry. 

I gave up on it though, because it habitually resulted in them rolling all over the neat piles, destroying all my work. 

I felt like they had just wasted my last hour.  

But what sort of a parent am I if I don’t persevere in showing them how to be responsible? We all have to do boring tasks now and then.

So next time they ask me to play when I’m doing the dishes, I’m going to suggest “If you help me wash and dry 4 dishes, then I will come and play with you”. Let’s see if that helps make parenting more fun.

Hand over the control

My girls do best when they feel like they have a bit of say in how things go. So running with that idea I let my girls decide what I would wear one day.

A friend posted pics of what her daughter had dressed her in for a week. She looked fantastic, colourful, and proud. Of course, the daughter had chosen the best clothes in her closet, even just to go to the supermarket. But hey! Why Not!? That is certainly one way to make parenting more fun.

Kids are so expert at living their best life right at that moment – why not let them show us how to do it now and then.

Here’s a few more ideas:

• Teach them how to tell jokes, like “Knock Knock. Who’s there?”
• Put the music on and start the morning with a family dance off
• Make them play (harmless) tricks on your partner or parents
• Make a family tree together – Collect stories from grandparents, gather photos and make an Ancestors Album
• Post dinner game: Try to make me laugh, Hide and seek, Tell stories about the craziest thing to happen that day.
• My favourite – Play with them. Schedule it in and let them dictate the rules

What does fun mean for you? What’s fun for one person may not fit you. The idea of baking a cake or sewing a tote bag may not seem like fun for you while it hits the spot for others. It’s personal, so do a brainstorm of what you enjoy, what you look forward to. And don’t be afraid to go deep.

What makes you smile and feel all glowy and warm inside? Once you rediscover what brings you joy, I bet you’ll start to figure out what activities might be fun to do with your kids.

Scheduling in some playtime

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Why is having fun with your kids so important?

A huge benefit of having fun with your kids is that it deepens your connection with them. They feel likable and confident. They start to build a sense that they are valued and fun to be with – worth having as a friend. It promotes the love hormone – oxytocin in their brain and helps develop empathy.

Not to mention all the social skills like learning to share and take turns.

I’ve discovered a bonus for adults when we play with our kids; we can let go of control and allow the kids to set the rules (as long as they are safe and kind). You get front row seats to seeing your child take charge, explore their imagination and grow their personality. This will start to build lasting memories.

And why stop at the kids? With your partner and friends, having and making fun with them can improve your relationships – laughing together opens you up to each other making it easier to connect. 

My goal is to change my parenting approach, by constantly asking myself
“How can I make this FUN?”

Laughter reduces stress. Try it. It increases the flow of endorphins from your brain helping you feel good and laughing counteracts the effects of our stress hormone, cortisol. Giggle like you were a little child again.

If you’re truly having fun, you are in that moment, soaking it all up. It’s really hard to not be present when you’re having fun. Alternatively, if you focus on being in the present with your children, it’s easier to have fun with them. They can be our secret gateway to joy, less stress and overall enrichment of our life – if we can just master how we frame our mindset around the importance of fun.

Life is really short. And we don’t get to choose when this all ends. So all we have is Right Now. Why not see if you can make it that little bit more fun for yourself and those around you?